Looks can be decieving
Following the theme of last weeks post I want to talk about judging your insides by someone else's outsides. It's easy to fall into the trap of looking at others and saying to ourselves - wow they have it so easy they: are thin, fit, rich, pretty, have a great job, husband, kids, car and the list can go on and on. The reality is that everyone regardless of how it looks on the outside have things that they struggle with on the inside AND there will always be people who have more and people who have less it's just a fact of life. Once we accept that it is much, MUCH easier to move along.
In my triathlon training for beginners program I have women who are all striving towards a common goal - to complete a triathlon. They are all at different levels of ability and they are all good at different aspects of the three sports. In a situation like this it is super easy to let the voice in our head compare our ability to the ability of others - Suzie runs faster, Jill's a better biker and Denise swims like a fish. I do my best to remind my Athletes that it doesn't matter how anyone else in the group is doing all that matters is how YOU are doing. I teach my Athletes to say "It's all about ME!" because in the end it really is. We all have our own internal struggles that we must overcome and if we're busy worrying about what others are doing we are short changing ourselves.
This holds true in athletic endeavors as well as in all areas of life. People may look at me and see someone who is happily married for almost 20 years with two great sons, a nice home, well off, a natural athlete and basically living a dream life. The reality is that I grew up in an extremely dysfunctional home that was basically a war zone. My escape was sports when I was younger then drugs and alcohol when I was older. My father is currently married to his 5th wife and my mom was married twice and is currently single. Not great role models for what to do....
I faced my drug and alcohol addiction and have been clean and sober since October 1985, about 8 years ago my marriage was on the brink of divorce, my youngest son is ADHD and struggles in school, we skimp and save to have the things we do and I too struggle with making myself get out there and do my workouts, in fact from time to time there are still days that I struggle with my own self. Thank goodness they are few and far between now! So the reality is that no matter how things may look on the outside you just never know what is going on on the inside.
So the next time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else take a moment and remember that looks can be decieving and that you really, truly are amazing and you are enough. Just keep moving forward to the best of your ability because the best is yet to come.
If you would like to take your life to the next level but not sure where to begin consider taking advantage of my Wellness Coaching Program. I have helped numerous clients step out of the darkness of self doubt into the light of self discovery - read what Laura has to say about my wellness coaching:
Working with Jennifer has inspired me in so many ways. Jennifer has created different workout programs tailored to my specific needs. Whether my program helped me work targeted areas or prepared me for skiing, I became physically stronger and much better toned. Jennifer helped me become a stronger person mentally. Through her wellness coaching and verbal support, I have made great progress in achieving my personal goals. Jennifer is always positive and supportive. Jennifer has truly enriched my life. She has a great sense of humor and is genuinely interested in getting to know you. She’s listens carefully to your needs so she can develop a program that is just right for you.
Laura Hitchens
To find out more about Wuhoo Wellness Coaching follow this link and get started living a happier, healthier life today! http://www.wuhoofitness.com/wuhoo-coaching/
Jennifer Malocha Cheif Executive Officer of Fun
Print Article
Reader Comments (1)
I love this! Comparing myself only to my own last performance and looking for reasonable improvements is what took me to Germany in kettlebell sport and earned me a bronze medal in my first international competition. I never tried to "do better than" anyone else.
A wise coach once told me that when you focus on beating someone else's best, you'll only be slightly better than them. Some third party can come forth and bust through BOTH your records. If you only focus on self improvement, you'll always be competing at YOUR elite level and giving 100% of what you've got. Then, it doesn't matter who you beat, who beats you, only that you're in the game.
There are thousands of people who are too scared to be in the game at all. You've already won by stepping into the ring and up to the starting line.